A mothers fears

My precious son had surgery today on his tonsils and adenoids. It was a very common and standard surgery that we knew would be done quickly and worth the time and effort, so why was I so scared? It's no secret that I believe in God. To me knowing God is like breathing air, I've done it all my life, I trust that He will always be there even though I have never seen Him. I have grown to really trust Him to take care of things in my life, job offers, homes, safe travel, even a healthy pregnancy, but why was I so scared about this surgery?

Today when we took him to the hospital I was able to appear calm until I watched him wheeled into the surgery room (in a red wagon which Josh and I thought was a nice touch). Tears filled my eyes from that moment until I was holding him in the recovery room. So why was I so scared? Now that we are home and he is laying on my bed eating oatmeal and drinking sprite, I wanted to take a moment and reflect and share my thoughts.

I love that little boy more than life itself. He brings me joy even in his more disobedient times. Trusting his life to another person has been an issue with me from the day he was born. I thought that trusting the doctor with him would be my fear, but it wasn't. What I have come to realize, so far, is that one thing I was afraid of was to admit I had fear. I felt it was a sign of weakness, and I trust God so why should I be weak and afraid right? And to be honest I don't think I am done with this lesson on trust yet. I feel like there is going to be more time of reflection and listening to what God is teaching me. However, there is one thing I know for sure, I am thankful for knowing that I have someone who can sustain me through my weakest moments when I am, literally, not able to have strength to do it myself.

My Wedding Business

This last fall I hired Megan Ward from Red Pearl Designs to redo my logo and business cards. I have been using the logo for several months now, but just this last week I finally got my business cards done and printed!!

Megan did an amazing job listening to my ideas and working well with my nitpicking to get things exactly how I wanted them. She was so gracious and kind, as well as, an amazing designer. For those of you that don't know, she and I share a studio space in down town Salem near the convention center. She is a talented graphics artist who, not only, does a great job with commercial design, she also delights brides with her invitation design.

Here is a look at what she helped me achieve with my new business cards.

I find it interesting

Today is the 6th day that I have gone without eating anything with processed or added sugar. I find it interesting that my desire for Pepsi, homemade chocolate chip cookies and Rocky Road ice cream has not gone away. It has been really easy to give up things like cup cakes, candy bars, sugary cereal, dessert at a restaurant, stuff like that, but not on my top three. I would say, in fact, that I am thinking about it more now that I am not eating/drinking it. I really wonder if this is what it's like for someone trying to stop smoking. The other funny thing is that I have had a lot of people say to me, "you are in a really busy season of life right now, maybe you should postpone this challenge" but don't you think that when we are busy and distracted from things that we are at our worst? It's easy to watch what you are eating when you have time to meal plan and grocery shop, but when you are busy and running out the door it's easy to grab a pop tart or fruit loops. I feel like if there is ever a time to try and challenge myself to eat healthier it's better to do it when it's the hardest. Then I will really know if I can do it.

Day 1

I am not just a few short hours away from going 24 hours without sugar. You know the saying, you want what you don't have, yeah that's totally true!! We have a m&m machine on our counter that Alexander get's to have for special treats, I have never looked at it as much as I did today AND his teacher sent home a bag of candy from Valentines day AND we have Rocky Road ice cream in the freezer AND I was a Costco today and got a hot dog, but no Pepsi. It's like every temptation that could possibly have come across my path today did. I went by the grocery store tonight on my way home from class to get some strawberries so I can have a snack, this is harder than I thought. I still haven't decided yet if my coffee is going to be put on the list of don'ts. I tried having some hot tea today (no sugar of course) I could only take two drinks before I admitted to myself that I wouldn't be finishing it. I even tried letting it cool down and putting ice in it for ice tea, yeah not so much.

I have found myself thinking about food a lot today. I did eat a yogurt that said it had a couple grams of sugar, I am wondering if that is something I want to cut also, or not worry about. Like my cereal. I have some Chex and it has 2 grams per serving, I'm not sure how far I want to take this, but I do know that I WANT A PEPSI!!!!

No sugar only water

So this is my newest challenge. Starting February 15 - March 15 I will not be eating just about anythng that has processed sugar (I say just about because I want to eat things that may contain sugar, like yogurt), and only drinking water, that's right no PEPSI!!! Why am I doing this you ask, absolutely no reason other than I want to see how it affects my body. I am enrolled in an exercise class at Clark and in just 5 weeks of consistent activity has changed my energy and thighs (I've done the Pilates butt and thighs video just about 2 times a week along with an elliptical machine 2-3 times a week). So really this challenge is just to see if I can do. I'm pretty sure I will celebrate by going out with a friend and getting a pepsi, but I'm looking forward to seeing how I feel about sugar and how it tastes after not eating it for a while. I am preparing for it this week by eating brownies!!

Busy Busy Busy

Most people can say they are busy, it's really relative to what you are used to doing. My down time is some peoples busy, and my busy time is someones "oh my gosh Katie you are busy"!!! I really do have a lot going on, and truthfully I am at my limit. My classes are going great, all three are fun, but my HTML is proving to be challenging on the tests. Give me a problem or a program and I will figure it out, ask me to define a term, yah not so much!!

The best thing that is going on right now is the opening of my office in downtown Salem. I am super excited about it and we should have the doors open within a week, pending the installation of the floors. I will post before and after pictures as soon as we are done.

Alexander is doing amazing in preschool. He loves going and ask's every day if he gets to go again tomorrow. Josh is still enjoying his job. Just today he planned a guac-off. He had 8 participants with about 50 people judging/eating the yummy goodness. I wanted to come as a guest judge, but I was blessed with some left in the fridge so I got to stay home and enjoy on my couch!! I have pictures to post, but since I am using the macbook I can't upload them so it's just going to have to wait until next time.